The Lone Pylon

Monday, April 23, 2012

That Damn Sam's 2012 Mock Draft 1-10

So here it is, the moment you've all been waiting for!

Or not.

After some head scratching and a few revisions, it's time to present That Damn Sam's 2012 NFL Mock Draft.

This is one of those moments when my guess is just as valid as Mel Kiper's or Todd McShay's.  None of us have any idea what will happen when the clock starts on Thursday evening. And that's what makes it so fun.

There wasn't much method to my madness. All I did was look at team needs, look at the top 50 draft prospects, and try to make logical sense out of it all. Of course, logic usually does not rule the day in the NFL, so I threw in quite a few wrinkles to make it interesting.

Most mock drafts are scripted at this point.  As usual, everyone is afraid to think outside the box.  Monkey see, monkey do.  I promise this is not a color-by-numbers mock draft.  No copying and pasting here.  I wouldn't do that to you.

I will divide this posting into three segments to keep it readable (if that's possible!); I will also try to keep my comments short and (hopefully) entertaining.  No trades will be projected, simply because it is impossible to do so. 

With that said, the Indianapolis Colts are on the clock...

1. COLTS - And Indy selects QB Andrew Luck.  Actually, Jim Irsay is already giving away autographed Luck footballs (yes, seriously!). He is in serious competition with Jabba the Hut Rex Ryan for the NFL's official attention whore.

2. REDSKINS - Another no-brainer.  The Redskins broke the bank to land QB Robert Griffin III. And he could be well be worth it.  The only downside to RG3 is no one can really find a downside.  I'm not sure if that's a blessing or a curse.

3. VIKINGS - I think the best and safest pick here is OT Matt Kalil and every expert says that's exactly what is going to happen. Yet think about this: the Vikings face Rodgers/Jennings, Matt Stafford/Megatron and now Cutler/Marshall twice each during the season. And the Vikes have crap for a secondary (with a little junk added for good measure).  I'm going against prevalent thought; the Vikings will grab CB Morris Claiborne here. Yeah, he's as dumb as a box of rocks, but we ain't playin' Scrabble.
Morris Claiborne stays in purple and gold... so says That Damn Sam.

4. BROWNS - Let's face it, they need help everywhere.  Many experts say the Browns might take QB Ryan Tannehill here, but I think they locked in RB Trent Richardson when they let Peyton Hillis find greener pastures (which he did in Kansas City).  2010's second round draft pick, RB Montario Hardesty, has rushed for all of 266 yards in his pro career.

5. BUCCANEERS - I can hear it now: the Buccaneers war room will be "shocked" that OT Matt Kalil falls to them at #5.

6. RAMS - Jeff Fisher himself has said that Sam Bradford needs weapons.  Even though the Rams' offensive line looks a bit patchwork to me - and they need help on defense - I think I'll take the coach's word for it (which is stupid) and go with WR Justin Blackmon.

7. JAGUARS - Every expert has the Jaguars taking a defensive end here.  I'm not so convinced.  I am probably way off base, but I'll say Jacksonville selects WR Michael Floyd.  Yes, the Jaguars signed wide receivers Laurent Robinson and Lee Evans in the off season, but their receiving corps is still below abysmal, and Robinson and Evans hardly make defenders soil themselves.

8. DOLPHINS - The Fins are taking Ryan Tannehill.  The experts all know that.  Every single one says so.  Yeah, I know about the Mike Sherman/Tannehill connection.  That relationship worked out so well that Sherman was canned by Texas A&M.  I'm just not convinced this pick is as obvious as everyone is making it out to be.  I think the Dolphins take an entirely different approach and grab the versatile DE Quinton Coples here.

9. PANTHERS - Carolina is a team that could easily go from 6-10 in 2011 to 10-6 in 2012.  They need help on the defensive side of the ball and I think this is the perfect place to take the top-ranked defensive tackle in this draft, DT Fletcher Cox

10. BILLS - Their defensive line got a steroid injection (um.... figuratively speaking) with the addition of Mario Williams. Now they turn their attention to the offensive line.  OT Riley Reiff is probably the most athletic offensive lineman in the draft.  In 2008, he led Iowa City police on a foot chase for 20 minutes before he was arrested for public intoxication.  I bet Matt Kalil couldn't do that.

More to come on Tuesday...


  1. Will says Go Redskins! - He's 5.
    Mark says you are way out there with the dolphins pick.
    Both he and I agree with your Browns pick.
    And can actually see the Vikings going with the CB.
    Oh, and if the phins can screw up picking a QB every chance they get in the free agency, they can do it just as easily in the draft too...

  2. Oh, and I tried reading your post to Will for a bed time story to put him to sleep.

    It didn't work.