The Lone Pylon

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

From the Crow's Nest - Week 3

An up and down week in fantasy football.  In the Frozen Loon League my Norway Drive Dragons lost to the Baywood Bombers… and if I hadn’t dinked around with my starting line-up I would have been okay.  I decided to start Darren Sproles thinking he’d put up some impressive points.  It was a gamble benching Ronnie Brown for Sproles and it didn’t pay off.  At the same time, if Sproles had gone off for 20 fantasy points (like he did last week against a very tough Ravens D) I would have been bashing my skull against the wall.  The game came down to Monday night.  The Bombers had Nick Folk.  Stupid kickers.  I ended up losing 88.3-92.2.  Sproles scored 5.5 fantasy points, Brown scored 11.5 -- that’s a six point difference and it would have given me a victory.  Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.  I’m 1-2 in the league, 1-1 in my division.

Good news in the More Beer League: my Big Brown Beavers fared much better.  I took on cross town rival Brainerd Bulldogs in a clash of undefeated division rivals.  When my workhorse Frank Gore went down after only one rush I give the Bulldogs a free pass.  But thanks to Peyton Manning and Santana Moss, plus another great game from Dallas Clark, I was able to cruise to victory, 95-70.  Luckily I have Ahmad Bradshaw and Darren Sproles in that league, who will serve as my temporary starters while Gore is out.  I feel pretty comfortable with that.  I am the only undefeated team left in the league and I’m tied with Plaid Peckers for most total points.  Too bad it wasn’t the end of week 13 instead of the end of week 3.  It’s a game of attrition and I’ve suffered my first set back.  I’ve already decided Bradshaw will be my starter week 4.  We’ll see how this goes.

Okay, onto this week’s NFL action…

The Lions beat the Redskins to avoid a 20 game losing streak.  And the game was blacked out in Detroit.  Life just isn’t fair.

Brady Quinn was finally benched because, well, he sucks.  Then Derek Anderson comes in and poops his pants, throwing for 92 yards and three interceptions.  Way to step up, buddy.

What’s up with the ugly uniforms in the Great Northwest?  Seattle took a page from the Oregon Ducks, wearing uniforms resembling botched Halloween costumes.

Santana Moss led all receivers in the league with 178 yards receiving and a touchdown.  And the ‘Skins still lost to the Lions. 

Will the real Houston Texans please stand up?

Derrick Mason discovered the fountain of youth, and its name is Joe Flacco.

Marc Bulger has a bruised shoulder and Kyle Boller is the temporary starting QB for the Rams.  Some experts suggest this will provide a spark to the team.  Kyle Boller?  Spark?  The only spark he provides is when he lights his farts.

Byron Leftwich has been benched.  Josh Johnson is the new starting quarterback in Tampa Bay.  Yeah, it’s that bad. 

…How bad, you ask?  The Buccaneers had 86 yards of net offense on Sunday. It might be time to put the blaze orange uniforms back on. 

Aaron Rodgers has already been sacked 12 times.  That’s on pace for 48 sacks this season.

Were the Titans really 13-3 last year?

Come to think of it, did the Panthers really win 12 games last year?

On Monday night Bo$$ Hogg was shown in his owner’s box approximately three times per quarter.  How much do you suppose he pays ESPN for those close-up shots?

Eagles tight end Brent Celek has had 104 yards receiving in each of the last two weeks.  He’s in love with Kevin Kolb.

Speaking of Kevin Kolb, he has thrown for over 300 yards in his first two NFL starts.  No other player has done that in NFL history.

Jets WR David Clowney was benched this week after Tweeting he was upset for not getting more targets.  Um…who is David Clowney?

I won’t gloat about Favre’s game winning touchdown… but I could.

Believe it or not, Willis McGahee already has a league leading six total touchdowns this season.  He had seven in all of 2008.

Hey, did you hear that T.O. didn’t catch a pass on Sunday?

Mike Wallace led the Steelers in receiving.  Yeah, Mike Wallace.  No wonder the Steelers lost to the Bengals.

This has become a weekly thing, but here I go again… JaMarcus Russell:  12 of 21, 60 yards passing, 2 INTs.  How can he be so bad?  How can he keep his starting job?  I don’t care how much he’s getting paid, he's killing the Raiders.

Chad Pennington is done for the year.  At least now he doesn’t have to worry about getting benched.

Vincent Jackson has the second -most receiving yards in the league as of week 3.  Jerricho Cotchery has the third-most.  Don’t tell me you saw that coming.

Tim Hightower and Beanie Wells have four fumbles between them in the first three games of the year.  Edgerrin James doesn’t look so bad now, does he?

Jake Delhomme wishes there was a subcategory for interceptions: “receiver ran wrong route.”

In their respective games, Cleveland and Tennessee each turned the ball over four times.  There’s a reason why both are 0-3.

I’m thinking the Cardinals front office should not even pay their defensive players for week 3.

Maurice Jones-Drew finally got it going with 147 total yards and three touchdowns.  And the Jaguars won.  Coincidence?

And the "Hail Mary"…  
Dear Mass Media:  Believe it or not, Tim Tebow is NOT the first player to receive snot bubble in a football game.  Honestly, it’s happened before.  Can we move on now?

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